Diary of a Confused Young Girl

In: Philosophy and Psychology

Submitted By bibty
Words 6643
Pages 27
November 30th 2012, 21:08

I remember all the times where you and I would merge into one another. We would move in and out and through so freely and unconditionally. I was you, and you were me. That's what we were, we were eachother, just one power with the ability to control two. You see, that's what you did to me, you controlled me and you still control my thoughts and capture them just like you used to. There is no love lost between you and I, but that's about all that remains. We could have been one, but together we are dead, apart, we are able to fly freely just like we never could when I had you and you had me. I think of all we were and dream of all we could have been.

People always say that some things you never get over. All this time, I wondered, how could something be so powerful? So powerful that it is never overcome? But now I know, only now do I know how it feels to be trapped by a power stronger than you could ever be. Addiction happens sooner than you can say it, but it's not just an addiction, it is a never ending desire for fulfilment, a fulfilment that can only be achieved if you take one too many pills, put too much pressure on the blade, an addiction eats away at you. It leaves you with nothing but everything you once had left in tatters beneath you. Maybe I'd never fully understand it, but maybe I didn't want to. My understanding is enough and it will always be enough for me.

I don't know why the thought of you being with anyone or even happy with someone else still stings me like it used to. It must be the fact that I tried so hard to make you happy, and your happiness can be found so easily in someone who isn't me. Maybe I was never enough, maybe I will never be enough. I don't know much but I know for sure that if I wasn't enough then, then I never will be. Being enough was never the problem, the problem was I was too much, too…...

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